Squiggly Equation Bullshit

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teradactyl: i didnt realize what time it was either
Dre: haha titan only spat out his drink ot make room for gany’s dick
Dre: also AWWWWWW
Dre: ; A ; well I hope she sleeps good
teradactyl: eedereajlkr
teradactyl: DDREEER
teradactyl: ASDFJ
Dre: I have to go to bed agai
Dre: DREER
teradactyl: CRY
Dre: hehehe
teradactyl: THE TITAN THING
teradactyl: OMFG
Dre: I’m sad that dev missed that

teradactyl:

I finally got around to posting a lineup of the planets in my story, Long Night Moon! Unlike most people’s stories I’ve seen that are based off personified space, LNM revolves around the seven major moons, not the planets - but the planets are still important side characters, especially with regards to the backstory which is based around the Late Heavy Bombardment (referred to as ‘the Bombardment’ or ‘the War’ within the story- it was a battle between the planets and the Kuiper Sea)

With how popular planet personifications have been lately, I thought I should show my designs in case anyone’s interested! …even though I’m really late to this… All the designs are based vaguely off mythology, but more off of the actual planets… and not gonna lie, I was inspired by Holst’s Planet Suite a lot. ANYWAY! here are some short summaries of each (left to right, in order of increasing distance from the sun)

MERCURY “THE MESSENGER” (AGE 27) - Merc is the shortest and youngest of the planets, and an oddball in that he’s one of the two planets without a moon and is regarded by some as “Sol’s moon”. He’s kind of an annoying prick honestly, he loves to mess with the more serious guys like Mars and piss them off. His job as ‘Messenger’ is actually in talking to stars, since Sol is constantly in touch with other stars and Mercury is sort of his sidekick, helping him out. He and Venus are very close, and in a mostly-mutual relationship (we’ll get to that in a second).

VENUS “THE BRINGER OF PEACE INSANITY” (AGE 32) - Like the actual planet IRL, Venus is pretty much insane, and has been since the Bombardment. She lives in a sweltering miserable hellish home that’s just completely backwards from everyone else. She takes great pride in being the hottest of the planets and has a bit of a crush obsession with Sol since he is the only other one hotter than her. She and Merc are ‘dating’ though it sometimes seems more like Venus is just keeping him under her thumb (he doesn’t seem to mind though).

GAIA “MOTHER EARTH” (AGE 33) - Before the Bombardment, Gaia was a peaceful but determined lady who fit her role well as the largest terrestrial planet, but sometime during the war she was attacked and left with a case of amnesia that completely changed her personality. She’s now much more hyper and brash than she used to be and has lots of fun spying on everyone else with her probes. She’s especially interested in Mars, which may be a sliver of her past self showing, since they were dating prior to the war. She and Luna (the main char of LNM) are best friends and Luna usually has to take the place of Gaia in any planetary meetings because Gaia’s always so busy tinkering with her rovers and probes.

MARS “THE BRINGER OF WAR” (AGE 30) - Mars was also a lot different before the Bombardment, as he used to be brash and war-hungry and altogether fit his title pretty well. He was beaten up and nearly died during the war, losing his ability to hold life. Since then he’s become much more mellow and bitter, just wanting to be left alone (in a sense, he and Gaia swapped personalities). He can still get pissed off when people play pranks on him though, which is often. His twin moons, Phobos and Deimos, are bratty 5 yr olds that like to run around and bug him.

JUPITER “THE BRINGER OF JOLLITY LASAGNA” (AGE 42) - (ok look at the planet it just looks like lasagna ok?) Jupiter is the self proclaimed king of the planets and the second oldest. He has a prosthetic eye that represents the Great Red Spot, and countless scars all over him. He’s by far the strongest of the planets, and when he was young he couldn’t control his power, causing some… uh… tragedies. to say the least. He tries to keep to himself since then because he’s afraid of losing control again, but a lot of asteroids, comets, and centaurs like to pick fights with him for bragging rights. He has four major moons, the biggest being Ganymede who hates Jupiter for said tragedies. The other moons besides Ganymede are all girls. All 65 of them.

SATURN “THE GUARDIAN OF TIME” (AGE 42) - The oldest planet and the one with the most major moons, Saturn is a grumpy old man who is constantly having to take care of one of his 62+ moons (and thats not counting moonlets of which there are possibly thousands). His daughter Veritas was killed during the Bombardment and he wears his hat in remembrance of her. He’s also the father of Titan, one of the main characters in LNM and the only moon with a real atmosphere. Because of what happened to Veritas, Saturn is ridiculously overprotective of Titan. 

URANUS “THE MAGICIAN” (AGE 35) - ON THE OTHER END OF THE DAD SPECTRUM, Uranus (usually called Ura, or Caelus by Neptune) is one of the two planets gifted with magic, as he’s a wizard. He’s also gifted with five dorky moons. Only Oberon is actually his son, and he’s the most pathetic excuse for a human being that Ura usually gets embarrassed even being around him. Uranus is also a pilot as well (god of the sky and all) and his house (an airplane hangar) is built on the side of a cliff. His place is so far out compared to Saturn that almost no one comes to visit him, and Neptune is almost twice as far as Uranus is.

NEPTUNE “THE MYSTIC” (AGE 35) - The other planet gifted with magic, Neptune is a seer/mystic and can foretell events in the future through visions and dreams he has. He saw the war coming (literally) but no one would believe him, and he lost all his children during the war after they were killed by a brainwashed and hallucinating Triton. He’s now Neptune’s only major moon and a sort of apprentice to him, as they both have to guard the planets from the Kuiper Sea which is full of KBOs that would do anything to take down the planets. Ever since then Neptune has also become emotionless and doesn’t show much expression (but he still picks on Ura all the time, albeit with a poker face). He used to be the seventh planet rather than the eighth, he and Ura swapped places during the war.

Pluto is not a planet so he’s not in this picture, but him and all the other dwarf planets are very interesting and I’ll try to get around to making a lineup for them as well soon! You can see Pluto and Charon’s designs here.